An Inflatable TURD!

[Spookyfinder]

Something has eaten the teeny tiny dead??? baby scorpion that was on back patio earlier. Any guesses??? I haven't a clue!!!

[Jim Warfield]

That was no scorpion! It was an alien robot sent to gather information about you, they have retrieved it and are removing it's chips right now. How do I know this?
Am I one of them? No. I just stopped by their new showroom to look at the new models and saw them working on it in the 3 bay.
You will be approached with 48 hours and given a really good deal on their new model.
be careful it might have been a demo.

[Greg Chrise]

Alert: This scorpion will self destruct in 4, 3, 2, 1. Kaplowieee.

[Greg Chrise]

Maybe it was teleported? It's the exterminator that are aliens! They's Lizard People!

[Spookyfinder]

Now that you mention it, my most recent exterminator did resemble a lizard! I guess I will have to watch for aliens that resemble scorpions but may in fact be robots that are actually demos. Oh, no!! What will I do if I find them??? Thank goodness tomorrow is another day (hopefully full of soothing pink gated communities, glitter, rainbows, uni-cows, inflatable turd haunts, etc.)...

[Greg Chrise]

Finally I got word from Queen Suzi. From the one side holographic conversation, I can only suggest that, to keep control of Barbie Land, you must first grab hold of yourself and understand that you are worthy.

Then fashion your own tiara or crown, the more ornate and creative the better and then go to the back patio and survey your domain. You being worthy and having a crown, giving off the general aura of power, and a few queen like waves to the imaginary tree sprites, you should be able to reason with any cyborg scorpions, who are by the way probably just coming up on the porch to give you their last thoughts "You (Insert derogatory gender slang here), you have poisoned us"

Meanwhile I have a threory that the cows might be alien as well. Probably with a fifth stomach that introduces glitter into their poo. As I can only be with you out of body, it is terriby difficult for me to prove this theory.

There you go, stand up straight and don't let them hear you fart.

[Spookyfinder]

Oh my goodness! I think you must have gotten the two of us confused or else Queen Suzi did.

If I'm not mistaken, it is you that likes grabbing hold of yourself. And surely she must have been talking about you making obscene noises. I would NEVER!!!

And I did just encounter a very much alive scorpion in my garage, but it was running for its life.

So I guess I'm off to create my own dazzling headdress, the more spectacular, the better...

[Greg Chrise]

Of course non of this advice will be as effective if the scorpions have little tiaras. In that case you are probably going to die eventually of scorpion stings and there is nothing you can do about it except get your affairs in order.

[Jim Warfield]

The "Original" Turd Article

Had the inflatable turd as suposed a dog turd.
Set up large speakers outside the victim's house at night , go "Growl! Woof!" into the microphone then inflate the huge dog turd infront of their house filling up their driveway , pressing against their front door and windows.
Think how incredibly scary this would be!
It would have such surreal bad dream qualitys.
I have experienced a similar thing on a smaller scale and it was very upsetting to wake up and discover my pants filled with my own wasteful product.
Maybe this prank would replace the older pranks on Halloween night?
T.P.img someone's yard, house and trees would be a precursor to the giant turd attack!
Well, it would be sort of logical, wouldn't it?

[Spookyfinder]

Oh, no! When I got up this morning, my entire yard and surroundings were covered in toilet paper! A sign of things to come? What shall I do???

[Greg Chrise]

Quick!
Begin making hundreds of miniature tiaras so when all the little turds show up they can all be queen for a day!

[Spookyfinder]

Tiaras for turds? Now I think I've heard it all.

So doesn't that mean I should make them big enough for some of the people posting on the forum, myself included? LOL - just kidding, my friends!

[Greg Chrise]

Now you have heard it all now live it ALL!

It's the Tiaras for Turds Labor Day Weekend Telethon!

Yes, thanks to your years of support and donations, scientists are very close to coming up with how flies are able to just show up from nowhere. It may be possible that flies are using turds as invisibility cloaks but, it is going to take a few more millions in research to be sure.

lemme know which wire service to go get the funds!

[Spookyfinder]

I'm guessing we haven't heard from you recently because you're working your Labor Day Telethon. Are you passing out tiaras to the visitors? Did you make them yourself? Did Queen Suzi help?

I so hope that Jim will be there with you, also providing lots of humor, entertainment, and demonstrations of inflatable turd haunts and pranks as well as that slice and dance routine we've heard so much about. Oh, and will we finally get to see the bugs that both of you talk about having in your heads?

Hopefully we'll at least catch a glimpse of Sarah (we've missed her recently) with the pink gated community, barbie paraphernalia, uni-cows, glitter, and rainbows.

Where can we watch this extravaganza?

[graystone]

doo doo

All this talk of doo doo makes me think. Somthing here is beginning to stink! Shane and its don't look at me I didn't do it Shane this time.