The customer Is NOT Always Right!

[Spookyfinder]

Or is it crickets if they chirp? Cicadas? Locusts?

[Haunting Copy]

Or is it crickets if they chirp? Cicadas? Locusts?

Nope. Nothing survives like those damn roaches. If you live in
Texas, you know the truth of this.

[Jim Warfield]

I have a beautiful poster on my wall:"Know Your Cockroaches!" It shows numerous kinds and gives their breeding stats.
"This couple has 200 "kids" a year! This couple has 20,000 "kids" a year!!
They must Never watch television!"
Campbell Center, a local educational institution offering mostly summer courses to museum professionals once borrowed my poster for the summer because they were studying bugs getting into museum items.
"It ain't no museum no more if the bugs carry everything off!"
(And don't tell you where they put everything)

[monsterwax]

You should check out the deals they offer at our local Walmart. A bag of off-brand Chips is just $1.25, unless you buy TWO of the same off-brand, then it's just $3. And it has this posted on a BIG STICKER on each bag to show you WHAT A DEAL! And I've seen people actually by TWO to get the "discount".

[Jim Warfield]

I met a guy when I was still just a kid who bought a shipment of cheap electric drills .
His newspaper ad said:"Drills regularly $14.98 on SALE this week only for $19.98!"
He sold all 50 of them, nobody came back mad or anything. Maybe they were too embarassed if they noticed this?

[monsterwax]

I saw a fun episode of "Friends" where Feebee (the blond ditz, who's name I can't spell) is trying to haggle with a jewelery rep because everything is the NYC Jewelry store is over $6,000.00:

Feebs: Do you have anything for $10?

Rep: Why yes, as a matter of fact, I do. And it's worth every penny.

Feebs: What is it?

Rep: These two only slightly used $5 bills...

[Jim Warfield]

What a screw-up! He should have said:"Only this ONE, slightly used $5.00 bill!
No profit in trading two fives for a ten!