Anti-Halloween Neighbor Revenge

[Jim Warfield]

I enjoy living where I do, in a very small town , mostly full of elderly people who are deaf! hahahah!
I turned off the outdoor speakers I had here many years ago because the next hill over hears everything that goes on outdoors here.
Even though my property has been zoned commercial for many years I respect people trying to sleep,ex cetra.
I had a neighbor 2 blocks away whose dog would bark like a trip-hammer, yet they said they couldn't hear their own dog barking as he was chained right beside their house!?
That cold, faraway look in someone's eyes as they say, "God told me to do it." Is the worst, scariest thing I have ever seen or heard.
"Whose "god"? My sense of "God" doesn't operate like that.
Shedding responsibility, blaming someone or someone else seems to be a common thing, but it can also take on uncommonly terrifying aspects sometimes.

[milkunits]

Boring people everywhere

Oh man, does this post ring a bell for me and the absurd things I have seen neighbors do since I was a kid doing my families yard haunt.

Good for you and do not let them take away your passion and love for this holiday that engulfs all religions and brings people together.

These same people will be trying to get land for a parking lot for their church or won't hesitate to force their beliefs and symbols on you as well, so it will all even out in the wash for sure.

Here are a few of my personal favorite neighbor highlights I have had.

One year the neighbor whose kids we became a babysitter for the whole month of October left a sign on their door with "we will not be trick or treating this year, see you in church". Hmmm, I wonder if they offer free day care there as well while the parents are at work all day. You see, it was ok to let the kids be apart of it the whole month of October, but then on Halloween they decided to stiff everyone on the block.

One of my personal favorite is the "I had to buy so much candy", I like this one because I usually have extra bags available and send them on their way.

This past year takes the cake! In my HOA that worships the ELDERS on my block sent their head elder over from the village to ask me if I believe in god because I had witches in my front yard. I love these kinds, because it gives me a time to remind them of how their religion is very much involved with the traditions of Halloween and that she could use a computer and a wonderful site called wikipedia to really get educated about the holiday and how religion finds ways to pervert it for those of us that have fun with it and can rejoice in the fun it brings and how it brings people together.

I get extremely fired up about this one as I have seen the worst in society when discussing Halloween.

I was so upset by my recent example that I called up Ed Edmunds of Distortions Unlimited to discuss religion and Halloween. He has a lot of great stories to tell about people in a small town in Colorado that creates ridiculous claims every time they do something or make the papers with Alice Cooper and Distortions stuff.

This stuff is inexcusable and is a small reflection of the sh!t on your neighbor mentality that seems to be more and more frequent.

Have you seen the movie "The Village"? If not, watch it and tell me that most HOA's take on the same persona. I mean did you see this Christmas how people right here in my Colorado backyard were told to take down a peace sign? Give me a break, another example of perverting symbols to take out a personal vendetta.

Anyway, good for you on the scarecrow and keep doing what you are doing. I am a fan!

[milkunits]

One last thing

You know this raises another discussion point: Symbols

How is your scarecrow a seasonal thing to begin with? I would question them as to why they think a scarecrow is holiday related.

We seem to have a real struggle with people associating symbols to their own beliefs and then using them for control.

A scarecrow to me means so much more then a Halloween thing and I would really question them as to how they came to this conclusion.

If I put a bunny statue in my yard all year round, does that mean I forgot to clean up after Easter? I mean I see a lot of bunny statues in my HOA and they seem to go under the radar.

Tell them to eat crow as you have a real bird problem and he helps in that regard. Or wait, tell them you are huge wizard of oz fan and you thought you were living in the emarald city.

So now this brings up one of my new room ideas for haunts.....

Everybody ready?

The arguing neighbor room. 2 fences with the customers walking down the middle of them. On one side you have the "glass house" neighbors, then on the other you have the yelling, bumbling, type. It would make a heck of a room with the shouting and name calling.

To combat my neigbor, I may just do such a scene this year. In my case I have the HOA Elders and the other I have the average middle class guy just looking to have fun. It should get really bloody and just may require 5 gallons of fake blood when I am through

[Jim Warfield]

"5 gallons of blood when you are through?"
Yes, my haunted fun house is often times referred to as "My Therapy"
I has to be such a thing when I laugh so much during most of it and since laffffing is supposed to be SO Good for us....rest my point----eee-- little head.

[Greg Chrise]

Just import a few hundred crows so everyone will want a scare crow. Oh, yes, I would get one, no more poop on your car or your patio furniture!

Everyone begins getting with your program even though you never talk about the problems with the neighbor. Meanwhile he is going nuts as the whole world is growing more pagan and worldly, headed for eternal damnation, more every day. Jesus couldn't come soon enough. Perhaps a blood vessel will whip out of his head from the self imposed stress and then he will be normal or at least damaged enough to be hidding in his house unheard of.

I like the MySpace Idea. At christmas time there could be a whole scare crow nativity scene.

We still have good looking pumkins on the poles to our front gate. A neighbor said in December that Halloween was over, time to take down the decorations. I just said "get used to it, they are going to be there for ever!"

[Jim Warfield]

A Scarecrow is a farm tool ("Was" a farm tool). Imagine physically working as hard as they had to in olden times trying to feed yourself and family only to see much of your cornfield decimated by the Crow Air Force!
The American indians put people within their society to full and good use when granny or grandpa got screaming/goofy, they won a teepee in the cornfield to be stationed there as a human scare crow!
(Too much lead in their warpaint?)
Maybe your nextdoor nuisance would prefer you have a Farmall tractor mounted on a turntable , rotating in the breeze? (Farm Tool)
It's old motor could be programed with a radar to start up when flying objects approached, no muffler of course.
Like most frequent posters here I personally "Worship" the other farm tool, the manure shovel. We all know how well it fits us, don't we?
We could be politicians!!! Or News commentators!

[RoguesHollow]

I can't say I have actually had anyone confront me about my Halloween yard display, yet, but I am seeing a pretty disturbing trend in our society in general with people being over sensitive to religions or anything someone might find offensive. It seems like if you do anything that any religion might find offensive you are a monster of some kind these days. Freedom of speech apparently is only ok if you don't say anything offensive to anyone. I think people need to lighten up and stop taking themselves and their religions so seriously and let people do what makes them happy.

[Jim Warfield]

I think it is all more of a "Control" issue.
Everyone wants to tell the other guy what to do and not to do.
Maybe a great many people feel absolutely powerless, economically and politically?
Presidential voting illregularities were not even addressed by the rest of our sitting government in Washington. Too afraid? Too comfortable ?
Don't want to rock the boat even though it's the largest Pirate Ship ever concieved by mere mortal man?
"So I'm 40 to 60 years old, worked hard all my life, can't influence anybody at all, so I'm going pick on my neighbor and make his life miserable.
Next week I'll buy a Harley, remove most of the baffles from the mufflers and ram around the county making all the noise I can!
I'll show them! They will all count my vote next time!
I'm going to express MY Individuality, I'll only wear black leather, and clothes that have the Harley logos on it, nobody else will look like me!
"I am pissed! Hear me ROAR!"

[Greg Chrise]

Sung to the tune Born To Be Wild

Lookin for adventure.
Just got some new dentures!

[Greg Chrise]

Actually it is just that Jehova's Witnesses lack some chemical in their brain or something that limits full thought and complete sentences. There is a lot of repetition and rules are supposedly good.

Even holidays where the easter bunny, santa, cupid or any worldly demon created by Hallmark cards or Coca Cola is equally Blasphemous.

No one wants to admit they are just wrong.

[Greg Chrise]

As far as yard art goes, if the head of the "scarecrow" didn't have that dead palor, it might be more acceptable. If it had a burlap covered head or a pumkin head.

The comparison would be like lawn jockeys, they are offensive to some as they are out and out racist but, if it was a zombie lawn jockey dead guy it would either be hilarious or morbid from a certain point of view. Probably 80 percent would think morbid.

My hearse is parked in our compound, behind a privacy fence but the landlord's wife (full blown christian) saw the little hand hanging in the back window and said it was just sick. Really it is funny but, if you are not bright enough to distinguish what is real and not real it might be a level of sickness we have embrassed and made a decision not to care what others think about it.

How is one of those plastic hands, no blood or anything sick? Well, it IS a hearse and it would not normally in any way in real life be hanging from the interior ceiling. But if you are too stupid to have a sense of humor it might be terribly shocking.

Just the act of driving a hearse either brings great joy from people as it is wild and humouous to them or they are totally pissed and disgusted by your irreverance. Typically older guys who probably just recently have been attending lots of funerals are the most out raged. You can even see them buck up a little as you drive buy. Screw them.

If they are THAT worried about death and what happens after you die, they probably aren't really very nice people and are going to hell anyhow, they are just having to deal with it. Nice people drive hearses.

[Greg Chrise]

The world as we know it is so screwed up.

I researched what clowns and evil clowns look like and for a week every old fat lady with puffed up colored hair, too much make up and dotted or lined dresses show me that wether they know it or not, Walmart has turned them into clowns and they think they are stylin.

I went to see a car show and didn't pull my hearse in as it was for pre 71 cars. Just driving past on the way out I saw an old guy get so pissed just seeing a hearse he started to shake like was going to come off the burm and start screaming or kicking something. Like I'm going to have to stop and get out of the car and kick his ass or otherwise confront him because he has some preconcieved thing in his head? He did yell something. I'm just driving by in a car? It is just a car. It's the suburban version of an older Cadillac but, it means death. They generally are garaged and ONLY seen enroute to a cemetary for burial these days. They are generally seen only in daylight and normally descreatly in a procession.

I'm so glad actually I could ruin his day. Apparently insted of enjoying life these people are worried about death, possibly their death and how it will be for them or they think the funeral process is completely a solemn, sober and grieving moment. It has some kind of reverence and is only performed on holy ground? They maybe need to get a life instead of worrying about eternal salvation. So driving a hearse is a public service I perform that makes the bad people have to come to some kind of terms in their own head right now if they are that defective. To those with a sense of humor it means halloween and haunted house guy, when is October?

To those in the know, horror movies are both chilling and most times hillarious plays on things you just never saw or thought of before. A study in either violence or fear that are not normal everyday occurances but could be. Sort of a pre study of what would you do, what are you prepared to do or think, how will you react if kind of thing.

What is real and not real. How much of the not real actually has bad intentions? How much of what is supposed to be real some made up world that really doesn't need to be acknowledged?

So a haunted house is a similar public service. Sort a seminar in what if. A conditioning to certain situations or combinations of just plain nuts and funny. What is it going to be in YOUR head. Only $10 step this way to find out. Then similarly the art of the media carries on and they see clowns in the public restaurants and zombies on the burm of the road, smells bring them back to the other world for a moment.

It's supposed to be a thrill, that was fun, now I as an evolving intellect know what I can keep out of my life or I need to bring others to experience this same dimension. So everyone can get over things that are just made up, fiction, stupid, silly and just plain wrong. Its a community service. A community event. A right of passage. A level of development or it can be an addiction to bring up the irreverant.

If a judge stood back and objectively looked at the situation, who ever is actively being agressive is in the wrong. Like there is a time for acting out such silliness. Or such a place where it is acceptable. Yet horror movies come out all year long in an enclosed room away from public view that they don't have to go to if they don't want to. The TV is supposed to be something you can click to another channel or just turn it off.

On the streets of America, there is no remote button for stupidity or aggression or hate. On private property you are supposed to be able to do what you want. The police can't go into a crack house because it is public property but, you can stand at the curb and scream at them all you want untill they start shooting. That is an extreme. So a yard decoration has more priotity to have something be done about it than a crack house just up the street from a school?

So smaller communities where everyone decides what would be nice and civilized is more control? You can't have a lazy boy chair out in the yard unless it is the same color as the trim on your mobile home. Yard flamingos must only be pink and reserved for birthday party declaration. Grass should be no higher than 2 inches and edged properly.

Somehow windchimes are so calming in everyone's yards. When ever they are present where we work it is my custom to duct tape them so they make no noise. I'm there to work, if I wanted to hear that crap I would join a Chowlin Temple!

People think the sound of falling water brings a level of peacefulness to a yard. It just makes me want to urinate.

When we go to a home in the fall with decorations for Halloween, to me it is nice, I don't even really notice them like it is supposed to be this way all the time.

Little garden plaques that say bless this home or bless this garden, sorry that is way too happy these must be removed. Little concrete angels and turtles and squirrels. Sorry you guys all get piled up over here.

If they can be so outwardly happy and really be bitchy, we can be outwardly morbid and really nice people. It is a moral imperitive!

[milkunits]

I just wanted to say how much I have enjoyed reading these posts. It really gives me hope to know that there are still some non judgmental types left in the world and that some realize what being righteous to man and women really means.

I mean given that my yard display has numerous neighbors all talking to other neighbors in my front yard is truly what any organized gathering of people could ever want. Good conversation and good friends enjoying something that may scare them or entertain them for all the right reasons. Who knows, they may even go home and understand what a hearse actually represents or a guillotine for that matter.

So, as I did during our blizzards this year in Denver, just skip over their walks with your snowblower

It all comes out in the wash!

[Cookie Crumbler]

Milkunits,

Hi, check your PM if you get a chance. I wrote you a while ago but I don't think you've seen it yet.

Thanks!

[Jim Warfield]

Messing up your neighbor's snow again!
I have known of people getting in trouble with their neighbors for mowing the neighbor's lawn.
They wanted grass and weeds almost 3 feet tall! Even though the city would eventually sickle-bar it down and send the owner a bill!
Maybe these types were the babys in ancient Sparta that couldn't pass the test and would have been left on the baby-pile for the wolves?
"Want to be a pain in everyone else's butt for your entire life? Tell it to the wolf!"
(The ASPCA might say this was cruel and nasty to treat wolves like this..)